Love Your Body, Heal Your Mind

Ever had a moment where you felt an opposition to your body? I’ve enjoyed conversations with family, friends and, even strangers, where someone expressed negative opinions about illnesses, injuries and body images. It leaves me to wonder why as a species we have such emotional responses to the behavior of our bodies.

We blame the media for projecting images of skinny people living adventurous live styles for the moments we feel self-conscious. But is the human mind so limited in processing images and self-perceptions that looking upon a thin person deprives us of personal joy? 

Now, the media is compassionate to our fragile mindsets and politely casts heavyset actors in health food commercials and as lead characters in romances. But, then again, is the human ego so naive to believe one body type is superior to another?

Not if you’ve ever had health issues. I exercise, eat like a monk in the Himalayas, and yet, I’ve received test scores outside the range of ideal performance. Viewing a heavyset person selling leafy salads delivered to my home doesn’t inspire me to buy into the concept that the shapes and performances of our bodies are a direct result of what we consume and how we treat them. It certainly doesn’t inspire me to exchange lettuce for the wide range of fruits and hearty portions of vegetables I consume each day. 

The actors portraying characters in commercials and onscreen don’t establish my ideal body type. I doubt they do for you, as well. More likely, the theories shared within your local community plays a key factor in the body images of those around you. 

Most people are focused on their own weight and health. Certainly, if you have a friend who is disappointed in her thighs, she tends to notice when someone else has thighs like the ones she wants. That isn’t the same as deciding you’re a failure because someone else succeeds. 

We are made in a Holy Image and therefore have an innate ability to perceive each other’s spiritual attributes. 1 Samuel 16:7 provides, the Lord sees not look on the outward appearance, but looks on the heart. By knowing one another as the perfect spirit, we find love when we look to another.

For every skinny person who feels overweight, there is a large-boned person who feels fabulous. For each person who watches his diet to avoid a health issue, there is another who puts forth no effort, appears to be unhealthy but never seems to suffer. If you ask for opinions about what is ideal, you will receive a range of descriptions with regard to health and image.

According to 1 Corinthians 3:16-17, you are God’s temple and the Holy Spirit dwells inside you. “If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is Holy, and you are that temple.” When you are in opposition to your body, you destroy a temple placed in your custody.

The issue of body consciousness is about how you relate to your body and its way of expressing your mindset. The body seems to behave on its own. It develops unanticipated characteristics. While we make an intention to treat our bodies with respect, and to cherish them the way we do a temple, we find ourselves at crossroads as to how sacred a temple can be without essentially being treated as an idol, a pagan god. 

These conflicting emotions stem from adversarial thoughts we carry toward our bodies. If we are given a negative medical prognosis, we tend to attack our shells. We pump ourselves full of chemicals and pesticide quality nutrients in an effort to overpower our physical selves. When we outshine an ailment, we applaud ourselves or having the intellect to devise a drug or remedy, yet is it necessary? 

In truth, yes, at this age and time. We are at a place, as a global community, where we operate under physical laws requiring each of us to take responsibility for the state of our bodily affairs. During another era, we neglected ourselves of nutrients, yet managed to remain vigorous and healthy. For instance, Huguenots were imprisoned for a lifetime. They were locked inside dark boxes, and denied sunlight. They ate one bread per day, and still, they survived for decades. 

Whenever I decide to let go of a few pounds, I muster through three days of reestablishing my eating habits by reminding myself man doesn’t require three square meals per day. He can go several days without food and water, and be perfectly fine. Cavemen, even settlers, couldn’t access fruits and veggies all year. Even when stored, food rots.

The key is to connect with our bodies the same way we establish a bond with a pet, family member, or friend. We turn to another when feeling discouraged. In seeking a solution to our needs, we crave for another to fill our emptiness. When sick, we long for a cohesiveness with another to restore our energy. We seek a healing comfort outside ourselves because we sense an inability to rise to that level of affection toward ourselves. 

We need to offer affection to those in need. When you are depleted and ill, your reserves save for self-recovery. The same intensity of love you put forth in caring for your pet and those you sympathize with should be turned inward. Send love and comfort to yourself. 

If you love your body, you heal your mind. The moment you feel inadequate or ill, consider new ways to love yourself, and the rehabilitation will flow.

The Purpose of Your Life

energetic colors of aura

I am the least photogenic person on the planet, and therefore, I rarely post images of myself. I am sharing the above picture taken while I was visiting the islands surrounding Tahiti as an example of the energy we emit, and the energy moving around us. We can’t always see the forces in our lives, but every once in a while we get a glimpse to remind us of our higher purposes.

I offer tips to make love blossom. Through these words, I hope to inspire you to take a moment to celebrate and, thereby, heal mankind from any possibility of existing as the fractured souls of creation. We can release the connection to a community of individuals being expressed in unique, yet uniform ways. 

While some character traits are appreciated, others appear to create obstacles in one’s health, finances, emotional balance and spiritual growth. At times, our personalities and characteristics are a result of the Divine Love surrounding us becoming distorted by our perceptions. 

What is the purpose of life?

Our goal in establishing desires and then working to satisfy them can cause us to fragment and then reconnect in a less divine way. When we defragment, our energy flows less smoothly. This can cause us to feel weak, isolated or unloved. Each of us chose to be born on Earth at this time because there is a higher likelihood we will grow substantially in our spiritual, emotional, mental and physical bodies. But once we get life rolling down here, there are so many distractions that can shift us off course, and so many energies adverse to our original ideals, we might find ourselves in need of repairing our pathways.

You are here with an opportunity to rejoin the essence of you into your wholeness and complete energy form so you can transcend above your current situation for a better quality of enjoyment in life. We’ve all heard of accumulating negative karma due to our poor choices or intentions. We’ve been chastised and tend to be told at some point that we deserve the worst. 

But not all suffering is necessary in order to ward off bad karma. There are situations that arise that you did not create; however, you drew them into your experience. These are emotions and energy spots you didn’t intend to attract. 

De-fragmenting is a way to save yourself without beating yourself up. You have an ability to open your inner light. You can extend your light across the globe, and throughout the universe. Earth is a tricky playing field. Your choice to be here at this time makes it likely you arrived with at least one goal to serve others in our community effort to ascend to a higher level of understanding.

To serve others most effectively requires you to keep your energy vibrant and pure. As I mentioned, the contrary energies surrounding you, and overlapping into your experiences, can feel like an emotional battlefield. It is imperative for you to realign your connection with the Divine Love on a regular basis. 

The way to reconnect varies and what works best for one, might not be appealing to you. Regardless of how you rejuvenate and redirect your energies, it takes a deliberate effort to achieve the greatest results in your life, and in those around you. 

Why can’t you defragment without deliberate effort?

You are your greatest obstacle. Reflections of you, or mirroring of you is available in artistic forms, which can manifest into separate entities. We refer to this category of lower energy in many names, such as, the devil, evil, sometimes curses, and as personalities with names, such as the demon, Mara. 

While such reflections can take on a mind of their own and stir up enough energy to eventually agitate the atmosphere, they are derived from our egos in an unaltered present state. Such egos were once our inspiration for existing with a goal to have a great adventure during this life; however, now they serve as a motivation for us to ascend our spiritual intelligence. 

What happens if you remain fragmented?

If you continue without reuniting your energies, you will remain in this circle of life. Our existence appears to be a continuation of similar unpleasant or undesirable events as long as we choose to remain on the roundabout. Consider your ancestors. If you research the history of your lineage, you are likely to find similar experiences to yours, even if your predecessors relocated to escape unpleasant circumstances, or made other significant changes in their physical surrounds with a goal to improve their adventures. 

Imagine a world on Earth where you aren’t pulled into the chain of seemingly unintentional incidents, where you aren’t blindsided and living in the defensive mode of reactions. It is possible and powerful to take control of your circumstances, and to live a life without participating in unpleasant scenarios. Only in this way, can you break free and reach the highest kingdom above this life.

Next time you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to consider what will make you feel reconnected with the purest form of love. Keep in mind the four areas we have a sense of existence. The four areas are our spiritual connection with the unseen forces, our physical association to our material surroundings, our emotional relationship to ourselves and others based on our perceptions, and our mental health as it relates to our existence. 

Each of us identifies with one of these areas more than another. To heal one aspect of ourselves heals another. They overlap and work together. This is how our physical bodies can feel weak when we endure an emotional hardship. 

What’s Your First Step?

Consider which aspect of your energetic makeup you identify with most, and give yourself the gift of commitment. Taking time to realign your energy is the greatest gift you can provide. At times, we feel guilty if we take time out to reconnect. 

But in caring for yourself on an energetic level, you extend your improved existences to those around you. By uplifting your energy, you improve the lives of those around you. From this point forward, no matter where you are on your path, take time to spread the love by de-fragmenting.

Fast for Faster: Bring Your Prayers to Life

Do you have a reoccurring nightmare? The strongest impression for me began, like so many nightmares, when I was a child. I am walking down the steps leading to my home’s red, front door. Our red and white brick house sat on a hill on top of a hill, at the back of a cove where children from miles around gathered to play each afternoon. 

On a lantern, Blue Jays and Red Breasted Robins sang all day. As I walked along the steps in my velvet Mary Jane’s and smocked dress, frogs leaped out to greet me. My Siamese Chocolate Point stayed by my side and the family, overgrown Airedale joined as our bodyguard. No matter how many times my junior kindergarten teacher asked my mom to tame my hair, it stayed unruly because, according to my mom, I liked to drag it on the dirt and let bugs crawl in it.

I was the youngest child in my family, which meant I had the most freedom. No one noticed when I set out on an adventure and they never asked where I was going. If I weren’t home by dinnertime, I didn’t get to eat, but sometimes I wasn’t hungry.

In this dream that replayed time and again, I tripped and caught myself with my forearms on the pebble steps. When I sat up to look at my injury, my flesh was ripped open. I was horrified by what I discovered inside of me. 

Before the fall, I’d been awed by my blue veins, and was told they were full of blood that turned red when exposed to oxygen. I expected a rich fluid to run out of me. Instead, I was faced with the realization my skin was hiding metal tubing and panels. I was a machine. 

When we sleep, our psychic shield is disengaged. Our minds are confronted by the stimuli and experiences we ignored during wakeful hours. When conscious, we sift through situations and categorize them into those that assist and those to store until we have a chance to analyze how they play into our perceptions. 

We are given experiences to deepen our understanding of ourselves and how we fit in the universe. Some concepts take longer to digest. Any time we can’t decide how to organize the information, we reassess the stimuli, again and again, which can result in reoccurring nightmares. 

So then, why is my life-long nightmare about my realizing I am stuffed inside a machine? My dream related to 1 Corinthians 6:19, explaining that a human body is a temple for the Holy Spirit, who lives inside each of us. My body was merely a vehicle. If I didn’t take proper care, it could be damaged, which would impair my soul’s mobility. 

Identifying my body as a temple of God motivated me to be selective in what I ate. I was determined to take care of my body before I developed health problems. I gained a sense of helping the planet by consuming fewer resources and no longer flagrantly harming other life. When we consume flesh products, on a subconscious level we experience guilt. My decision to be a vegan shifted from health reasons to my desire to support living creatures. 

Equally concerned about my spiritual growth, I adopted a meditation program. My goal was to ascend to the highest level possible at my death, which sounds gruesome and I have no idea why I thought about these things at a young age. 

I was raised Presbyterian, and my community was a bit on the dry bones side of religious practices. There were no ornaments in church – just bare walls and burgundy cushions on hand-carved pews. No saints or angels or meditations, but our strength was in prayers and performing unconditional acts of kindness. 

Meanwhile in law school, I wanted to achieve the peak performance from my brain. I became a health nut, taking herbs and amino acids, and replacing meals with powders. I met folks who practiced Lent by giving up something they valued during the weeks before Easter. 

Also, I worked with a young woman who fasted to boost her prayers. Her enthusiasm convinced me to give it a try. Low and behold, my life changed for the better, faster, when I gave up something I valued and enjoyed as a personal sacrifice in my devotion. I refer to this method as, “fast for faster.” This does not require one to give up all foods and liquids, but merely to refrain from a category for however long or short of a period of time intended.

Fasting and meditating daily made me feel elevated. Literally, my psyche seemed to float at a higher level than when I didn’t abstain from chocolate. My thoughts were clearer. 

Living guilt-free moved my spiritual growth to fast forward. I viewed my body as a vehicle for transportation and performing tasks that served my spiritual purpose. My body wasn’t me but a community of utilitarian tools abiding to my plans. 

I start each day by thanking my health for remaining resilient. I thank my legs for getting me where I need to go without pain. I thank my digestion for processing the foods I eat without adverse effects. I don’t take it personally when my machine malfunctions. It’s merely an experience reminding me to respect my body, and care for it the same way I maintain a car or computer I plan to keep past the warranty. 

I intend to make my years as productive and enjoyable, as possible. By disconnecting my identity from my body, I respect its needs. Likewise, I increase my standard of living by decreasing the possibility of onset illnesses. 

My intention which is accompanied by an act leads to blessings and appreciation from the spiritual presence throughout the universe. I don’t know about you, but I can use all the powers available. Once I understood my nightmare was asking me to love my body, I healed my mind.

Random Acts of Kindness

If you are in a tumultuous relationship, whether with a coworker or friend, you can disassociate with him to end the conflict. But what happens when you stay? While ending a relationship guarantees the situation will turn out well, you gain from persevering through the difficult periods. 

The answer is hidden beyond the undesirable moments. An eye for an eye goes on for infinity, however, you can break the cycle. The times my siblings and I had a disagreement, my father would take each of us aside and say, “It takes two to make an argument.” This blanket statement never seemed logical to me because there were two of us, and we were arguing. 

The way to end an argument is by breaking the chain of disharmony. When you find yourself at odds with someone for longer than you want, stop reacting. Observe what effects follow.

You can resolve conflicts through random acts of kindness. You can end the warfare without actually feeling kind. It’s the act that makes the difference.

For example, if your nemesis is in a mint gum chewing phase, grab a pack when you are in a check out line and leave out for him to find. You don’t have to explain or give away your power. Simply let him choose how to interpret the act. 

You don’t have to be engaging when he asks where it came from. A shrug will suffice because it’s the randomness of the act that gives it impact.

Tell him you like something he is wearing or a thing he owns, or anything at all about his family or work. Certainly, try to comment on what you do like because there must be something, but don’t struggle over whether he deserves to hear a nice word, or whether you like it enough to say something. 

The acts can remain minuscule but make a point to do one kind thing each day. No matter how angry or inconsiderate your nemesis is, the tiny gestures of positive energy will accumulate. A small dose of goodness has a higher frequency than a pound of bad. A little kindness carries the weight of several years’ worth of ill-will. 

Your good acts will modify your nemesis’ reactions. Perhaps the unpleasant gestures are out of habit. For him to realize you thought of him that day, you took a moment to do something helpful, changes the way the two of you relate to one another. You steer the chain of events off the circular path. 

You can increase the level of love you experience through your random acts of kindness. Consider it a gift for both of you.

Tips on How Couples Stay Together

image of J. Wilder Bill with her spouse in Italy

Photo: Decades ago in Sorrento, Italy

Longevity in a marriage can seem daunting. The divorce rate is declining, yet the possibility of separating can linger in the air. An argument can set off a chain of emotions causing you to feel alone.

This alienation can cause you to want to escape the abandonment. A daily routine can leave you bored, which can shift into a combative way of communicating. Your spouse might seem uninspired by any loving attempts to recapture a friendly atmosphere. A defensive response might block the connection your spouse yearns to receive. 

Even when a couple shares a life of blessings, not every day is monumental. We compare ourselves with the sensationalized portrayals of daily living fed to us by the media, and convince ourselves our relationships are lacking. 

The difference between a couple that stays together and one that separates is — the couple who stays together chooses to stay together. 

The complicated part is that staying together means work. It requires self-reflection by both. The conflicts of divorced couples compared to the disputes within a marriage have core similarities. Although no spouse is encouraged to remain in jeopardy, sticking through the thin parts fulfills the romantic promise made when the relationship first blossomed. 

The term commitment has lost its glory and sends a jolt of fear up spines. It is associated with being denied the ability to leave a horrible situation. If you decide to suffer the unpleasantries, know that you are utilizing the power to create a change in your relationship. You have the option to reevaluate your position.

By changing your interpretation, you shift the tone in your voice. Altering the way you respond instills a change in the way your spouse perceives himself. Where he might have considered you to be the obstacle to his happiness, now he can view you as the one who can comfort him through his struggles. 

Couples who last do not necessarily resolve all of their issues. The point of arguing isn’t who is right, or how often one wins. They concede to disagree. This acceptance of differences can be silent.

Marriage is rarely fifty-fifty. There are times when no matter how right you are, you must put forth ninety-percent of the effort to let it go. 

I used to envy couples’ relationships who were considerate and respectful toward one another. They didn’t bicker over dinner or talk down to one another. They were content and cordial and calm. Years passed, and the relationships I idolized ended in divorce. 

Communication is not the matrimonial deal-breaker. Proper communication can place a strain on a relationship. Saying what is on your mind, even though it might encourage a round of disagreements, places a value to both opinions. A relationship where you are comfortable letting each other know where you stand is the result of having strong ties. The committed attitude by both sides makes each secure in saying what he thinks. 

How exactly does a person establish a bond strong enough to survive the differences in opinions? Neighbors will help another when it comes to noncommittal actions as large as rebuilding after a natural disaster all the way down to the small act of holding a door open. But, when faced with a loved one who takes his bad mood out on you, your primitive impulses might resist helping him get over whatever is on his mind. 

Once you get to know another by understanding his hardships and how they relate to the day he is having, you develop compassion for him. By embracing your spouse’s previous experiences, by visiting his hometown, and spending time with his family, you deepen your understanding of why he perceives life the way he does. You don’t have to agree with his viewpoints. By connecting the dots of where he’s coming from, you stop taking his moodiness personally. 

Opening ourselves to another is boosted through touch. The physical form of intimacy seals business deals with handshakes. A sick person is strengthened by a nurse resting her hand on his forearm. A friend going through difficulties feels empowered by a hug.

To intensify a relationship, it is best to touch, no matter how briefly, at least once a day. A pat on the arm while your spouse is driving might draw him out of worrying about a doomsday he fears will evolve. Through physical contact, our senses assure us we can trust someone who is willing to get close. 

Spending time together bonds a couple. It doesn’t have to be long hours every day. The intimacy can be short or periodic, but the time we invest in loved ones should include a relaxed mind. Some couples relax during a vacation. Others relax while watching television. There is no best way. The emphasis in the togetherness is for each to have an opportunity to share his thoughts and establish nonphysical touching. 

Nonphysical touching occurs when two share a laugh, when they share an adventure, and when they tell each other secrets. The point is to establish joint memories. Later, when you return to your busy lifestyle, you will recall the emotional sharing you experienced.

The memory doesn’t have to be a life-changing event. The fact you associate the other with something you enjoyed or survived or embraced solidifies your bond. Even listening to your spouse tell about an experience where he had success or happiness creates a modified memory where you are a part of those good times. 

You have the power to determine the outcome of your relationship. If you choose to stay, then you will stay. It is that simple. 

The complex element is the ability to stay, which for far longer periods of time than you might prefer, includes improving yourself. Self-sacrifice and longstanding efforts might seem unfair, but having longevity in a relationship fills you with gratification. No obstacle can eliminate the confidence you gain from knowing you succeeded. 

Love Your Dream, Live Your Love

image of aero-ballerina at Du Pont Registry for cars

Photo: Concourse d’Elegance duPont Registry by J. Wilder Bill

A dream. That’s where it all started for so many of us and that’s often where it all ended, unless you possessed the drive of an automobile. At the Concourse d’Elegance in Winter Park, Florida, I met three guys with enough motivation to transmute an interest in cars into fame and income.

Two men created the series, Car Show Television. 

Meet Andrew McClary and Alex Berry – two buddies who spent their leisure time admiring vintage and rare vehicles at car shows. The car industry wasn’t only about persistent salesmen and vacant showrooms. Practically every weekend, somewhere out there sleek models giggled and posed for poster style photos with car lovers. Famous entrepreneurs discussed ways to improve the planet by modifying engines. Friends who loved breathtaking settings at cozy airports full of glamorous private jets and aerobatic dancers serving champagne from chandeliers got gussied up to chitchat in the midst of the bright lights. Thrill seekers enjoyed riding actual race cars with legendary professional drivers behind the wheels.

Like so many dreamers, Andrew decided to replace his work with his passion. But how did he go about turning joy into gold? Andrew’s career revolved around the production industry. He produced and designed websites for television, and created reenactment scenes for trials. His architectural education gave him an understanding of the machinery. As a matter of fact, he is also an inventor of a model electric car.

His desire – create a car television show with features that get up close and personal with the vehicles. He wanted to give viewers the opportunity to appreciate the amount of work that goes into restoring a diamond in the rough. Those dreamy vintage vehicles oftentimes were forgotten in dumpsites or even at the bottom of a lake for decades. Many are one of two in existence, and one of five ever produced. Famous 1930s movie stars owned some cars and famous first-timers who did things such as flew long distances in airplanes and created animated movies. When walking in the shade of the trees through a grassy park full of vintage automobiles, it was common to pass by the one vehicle used to invade a country, or featured in a classic film, but unless someone took the time to present the unique information to the public, the stories were forgotten and a piece of history disappeared.

His friend and fellow car enthusiast, Alex Berry, motivated Andrew’s dream. Alex had a dream as well, and his revolved around the human interest story behind passion and hard labor. He wanted to share the excitement of the car owners by asking questions. Who were the past owners? What places had the car seen? Where had the car been? He loved listening to owners eagerly explain how they researched the original paint color and what gimmicks they had to configure in order to get the out of production parts to work properly, after years of rust eroded the pieces. Alex wanted to allow viewers to get to know the owners on an intimate level. Not all car enthusiasts were wealthy. Some were dedicated to keeping what were once innovative inventions alive. Many were regular guys who materialized their dreams of salvaging the art in machinery.

How could Alex satisfy his curiosity? Alex’s background was also based on the production industry. As the senior producer of multiple television shows, he understood how to materialize their concept for viewers. Thanks to his many years of working with Fortune 500 companies, Alex had the “in” with finding sponsors. Alex picked up a camera and shifted his admiration into recording stories about the amount of time and energy, heart and soul, that went into restoring a vehicle, into preserving history. To Alex, every car had a story to tell.

The result – Car Show Television originated on www.carshowtelevision.com. Their skills and passion were combined with dedication. Shortly after airing, Alex and Andrew started riding high. They captured a wide market that included vintage car buffs and general car enthusiasts. Children got excited at seeing unique cars as well as teenagers who couldn’t wait to earn their freedom. Car Show Television was picked up by cable television and was broadcast on The Auto Channel – WHDT – in South Florida, and continued to air via their website.

Another dreamer hosts a different series, Chasing Classic Cars.

The car business wasn’t too crowded for another dreamer with a sense of reality. Wayne Carini, a car restorer whose fascination for Ferraris started at the age of nine had stardom in his sight. His most recent mega-million dollar venture included hosting Chasing Classic Cars.

His dream was to surround himself with the finest and most elite vehicles in the world. According to Wayne, his job included traveling across the country and abroad to meet with clients. Those clients, as he casually referred to them, were the wealthiest individuals of fine taste who only drive the most elite vehicles created.

In his travels, Wayne gathered a nifty car collection of his own, with the Ferrari always remaining close to his heart. He rose to the top quickly, and was clever enough to continually reinvent himself. Chasing Classic Cars wasn’t Wayne’s first appearance on television. His desire was to introduce his inner circle of top dogs and their high performance autos to the world.

He features celebrities and entrepreneurs with the ease of your closest relative sitting down for a holiday dinner beside the fireplace. His lofty personal relations afforded him the grace of getting viewers into the private settings of the elite car owners’ garages. You can view the warmest, most engaging rich guy on the planet at www.velocity.com/tv-shows/chasing-classic-cars.

Love Your Dream, Live Your Love

What these three men have in common is goodwill in their dreams. They share a laidback style in connecting with us regular folks who are car enthusiasts. Each is conversational, and inviting. They sit down over lunch and ask what you think and what experiences have you enjoyed with automobiles.

Bonding with the average man just for the sake of sharing an interest is an expression of love. Having a curiosity about another’s quest for joy is an ingredient for loving life.